Figuring It Out

"I have work, then a dinner thing, and then I am busy trying to become who I am"... (Hannah, Girls)

So I did some thinking over the last week like I said I would, and I'm really pleased to say that giving myself a bit of clear head time really worked and I realised a few things. I'm not feeling happy because I'm not doing anything to make myself happy. I wish I read more books, but I'm not making time for it. I think my hair is looking drab but I've not had it cut since March! I know it would do me the world of good if I got some regular exercise, but I don't. Yes, these things are superficial perhaps and certainly not rocketscience (!), but over time a lack of prioritising myself has left me restless, adrift and out of touch with what makes me happy.

We all know that in life you pretty much get out what you put in, but that's often easier said than done, particularly when you're someone a bit like me who can easily find problems or obstacles in the way... I really want to do this but is practically a catchphrase of mine. I've become lazy and I think on some level started waiting for things to happen to me, for me, when actually I should be utilising my free time, getting out there, getting stuck in.

Does anyone else ever think, perhaps subconsciously, that as soon as you discover your true self, everything will be great and fall into place and you'll be this amazing, happy person who is confident and getting on with life? More and more I am realising that we don't just become who we want to be - we have to work at it, learn how to do things we want to be good at, discover what makes us happy and what doesn't...

So it's a new season, a new start. I'm going to try and make a small list each week of things I want to get done, so I can see when things I feel are important to me are slipping to the bottom of the pile.  I also want to try and write a bigger list of a few things I want to achieve, over say, a 3 month period, and see where that gets me. It's been lovely to slow down this summer, but I'm ready to get going again thanks!